 |
| Cookie Monster |
I remember quite perfectly standing in our kitchen on my third birthday--frozen in awe, stunned in silence by the most incredible thing my young eyes had ever laid sight on. My mother and my aunt had baked me the most beautiful birthday cake that has ever been baked in the entire history of cakes.
My baby-blue eyes (not to mention my stomach!) had never before feasted on anything more lovely...and this sugary delight--a bright blue homemade cake in the shape of my beloved hero, Cookie Monster, was all mine (okay, well, technically I was supposed to share it)! Funny how my childhood idol was a cute fuzzy monster who loved to devour sugar as much as me...
Flash forward 28 years. Hello, my name is Alyson and I am terribly, horribly, powerfully addicted to sugar. The longest I've ever made it without sugar is around one month. Sugar plus Lyme disease is very bad. But the fact of the matter is, I am very, very addicted and simply knowing that I shouldn't eat it doesn't actually give me the tools I need to wrestle this mighty beast.
The Lyme bacteria feed off of sugar. They crave it; I crave it. I feel powerless to this mighty force inside of me screaming for its fix. Sugar, sugar, sugar! I'm on my ninth day without sugar, but for some reason, my cravings are getting stronger, not less as the days go by. I can't figure out why, but this time around has been more difficult than any other time I've tried to quit. Maybe this time, the Lyme bacteria have realized that I mean business and they're extra worried!
The thought of never having sugar again is too overwhelming for me to process. I am too addicted to just have a little bit; once I have a taste, I'm back to my old habits. So for me, it's all or nothing. I'm trying to take it a day at a time and not think about the Giant Unmentionable Holiday coming up that is devoted to all things sweet and lovely. One day at a time...
Edible flowers. MMmm FLOWERS!
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you Alyson! This is still my biggest challenge. Klinghardt once said (something like): "The patient cannot be trusted to eat what they should eat because they are not the ones in control." Damn bacteria...
ReplyDeleteDay 9, YAY!!!!! Hang in there friend. You will break this. I know it. Love you!!!
DeleteAly..one day at a time..sometimes its one hour at a time or even one minute at a time..you've gone to far to turn back now plus it wont taste like what your brain remembers it..trust me on that one...it does get better..each day you will get stronger..It takes about five days for your body to detox from sugar so like I said you have gone so far...hang in there..you are my hero ...I love you..Aunt Connie
ReplyDeleteHang in there dear friend. You are climbing a big mountain. Yay for you!!!
ReplyDeleteThis little monster is just too cute to be called a monster. I am not sure who is cuter: Elmo or the Cookie Monster. It's hard to choose....they are both adorable. I love them both. I fact, they are almost like identical twin brothers!!!
ReplyDeleteThis little monster is just too cute to be called a monster. I am not sure who is cuter: Elmo or the Cookie Monster. It's hard to choose....they are both adorable. I love them both. I fact, they are almost like identical twin brothers!!!
ReplyDeleteThis little monster is just too cute to be called a monster. I am not sure who is cuter: Elmo or the Cookie Monster. It's hard to choose....they are both adorable. I love them both. I fact, they are almost like identical twin brothers!!!
ReplyDelete