The Best Medicine

I had quite a busy weekend bringing my new horse, Fjóla, home and spending pretty much every waking hour (Lyme disease permitting) at the barn. Heat plus Lyme disease plus overdoing it equals bad news! Yesterday, I had my belly dancing class, and I thought it would be good for me, but I had to leave early. It was just too much on top of my completely exhausted body. I don't know how I made it home! I was out of commission for the rest of the evening.

This morning, however, I woke up feeling great and full of energy. I was able to get lots of things done around the house. I had a Lyme crash around lunch time, but I put on a movie for the kids and was able to lay down and it passed quickly. I'm feeling pretty good right now, and I'm just taking it easy and trying not to push myself too hard.

One week from today, I go back to my Lyme doctor, who I presume will be shaking things up with my regular meds--meaning its quite likely that I'll be knocked on my butt for a bit. I have a few new symptoms and I'm wondering if my Babesia infection is stepping down and letting the next co-infection step up to bat.

One thing is for sure: There's a super cute little Icelandic horse waiting at the barn just for me and if that's not good medicine in helping me fight Lyme disease, I don't know what is! I couldn't have found a better medicine! Maybe I should nickname her Doxycycline (an antibiotic commonly used to treat Lyme disease).

The Courage to be Sick

 "A sacred illness is one that educates us and alters us from the inside out, provides experiences and therefore knowledge that we could not possibly achieve in any other way, and aligns us with a life path that is, ultimately, of benefit to ourselves and those around us."
--Deena Metzger

Not only is there a war going on in my body for my physical health, but also a deep struggle for my mental health--for a better, stronger, healthier way of thinking and truly loving life. What I am seeking is the courage to be sick--to be truly content with a body that is out of control and doesn't cooperate. I am seeking peace, gratefulness, and acceptance of my weak body.

I want to face this day with bravery and confidence and with a good attitude. But, it's as though there's an evil Lyme spirochete sitting on my shoulder, whispering nasty things into my ear so that he and his pals can continue partying hard in my body.

Today is my first day back on antibiotics after taking a medicine break because of last week's mega Herx. Though I am terrified of taking my medicine today, I am working hard to change my focus from fear to gratitude. My goal for today is to focus on how strong my body is, not how weak it may seem to me.

Today, I will work to trust my body. It won't be easy; I haven't bounced back completely from last week's huge Herx, so I'm going ino this treatment weaker than usual. But I will trust my body to do its best to heal itself. I have to get sicker to get better, so today, I will be grateful for the intense battle going on inside of my body that I cannot see. Those feelings of sickness are my body's way of showing me how incredibly hard it is fighting for me.

I'm scared of being so weak. But when I am at my weakest, it is because my body is at its strongest--fighting with every ounce of strength it has! I will work hard to mirror that strength in my soul today as I battle the feelings of total weakness that must overcome my body before I can be well again.