If I look back, this past year was the most incredible, intense, heartbreaking, fullfilling, breathtaking, awful and wonderful year of my life. Good heavens, what a year! While I am not healed, I can function again and that is nothing short of a miracle. Only a very few people knew just how truly sick I was.
If I look ahead--well, there is just too much unknown about chronic Lyme disease to know what to expect. I don't know what the future holds for me in terms of my health, but that's okay with me; I'm not meant to know. I have learned/am learning/keep learning that all I have is this moment--this very precious moment right now. It doesn't matter if I'm sick or well, happy or sad, it is what it is and I'm free to do with it as I choose--to waste or to cherish.
I am not the same person as I was at this time last year. Sometimes I just wish I could shake the people around me and wake them up: Life is waiting for you! Don't wait until it's too late to find that out. If you have your health, don't take it for granted for a second! And if you are sick, hold on just a little bit longer--if you give up today, you will never know if tomorrow is to be the day you will get better.
Sometimes, I feel like I've just been let out of jail and I'm seeing everything full of promise again and ripe with new beginnings. I am no longer a prisoner in my own body. I am no longer a captive of Lyme disease. There were so many dark days when I wasn't sure if I was going to survive, but lo and behold, I did. Maybe I need to shout it from the rooftops: I did it! I survived!
In parting, I leave you with my thirty one-derful birthday wish for you: Live each day like it's your birthday, and treat everyone you meet like it's their birthday.
