Somewhere, Over the Rainbow

(click here for picture credit)

"Somewhere, over the rainbow
Bluebirds sing;
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true."







In two weeks, I will hit the one year anniversary of my diagnosis of late stage Lyme disease. I have made unbelievable progress over the course of the year. I've gone from being almost totally bedridden to being able to function again. Some days I can function close to about 90% of what I used to. My pain levels are much more manageable now. I do have good days and bad days, but I can take care of my kids again, I can drive again and I can do many of things that I love to do again.

I've gone through some pretty dark days, but all through my fight, I never let go of my dream of owning another horse since I lost my beloved horse, Shiloh, nearly a year ago to a blood clot. It was so hard to admit that I just wasn't well enough to jump back into that kind of lifestyle. 

Yet now, after nearly a year of treatment, I'm finally strong enough and in a good place to pick up my dream again. I am so excited to announce that I have found my absolute dream horse and she is coming home tomorrow!

Indroducing: Fjóla (click for pronunciation), my new Icelandic horse!

I know that the challenge of owning a horse again is going to be tough while I continue to battle Lyme disease. I still have a lot of symptoms and I still have a long road to recovery. But my undying passion for horses has sustained me through the best of times and the worst of times. When the pain of Lyme disease overcomes me, my mind finds respite in dreaming of horses. When I struggle with the burden of depression from chronic illness, my sorrow turns to laughter at the barn. On the darkest days, I close my eyes and fly away from the pain on the back of my dream pony.

Tomorrow, my equine soul mate comes home. I could not have asked for a more perfect match, given the nature of my illness. Her laid back attitude and affectionate nature are everything I could have dreamed of and more. I am the luckiest girl in the world! I have fought so incredibly hard to turn this dream into a reality. Thank you so much to all my incredible friends and family who helped make this possible! And an extra, extra special thanks to my beloved Nana, who is cheering me on from heaven!

Fjóla, I cannot wait for the adventures we are going to have together! I've waited my whole life for a horse just like you. You are truly my dream come true. <3

Dreamcatcher

Last week, I bought a dreamcatcher for a very sick friend with Lyme disease. I've seen a lot of dreamcatchers before, but I've always thought most of them looked downright tacky--although I will admit, I've always thought they were interesting--just not my cup of tea.

As you can imagine, I certainly didn't set out to buy a dreamcatcher for my friend, but when I saw that one hanging in the store, it really caught my eye. It was beautiful! I purchased it without a second thought. Over the next few days, my thoughts kept wandering back to that dreamcatcher. It really got me thinking about dreams--or more specifically, how Lyme disease puts most, if not all, of your dreams on hold.

Having to watch your dreams fall away from you like sand slipping between your fingers is one of the many agonizing day-to-day realities of Lyme disease. Not knowing how long your dreams will have to be put down is excruciating. Not having answers is maddening.

My wish for my sick friend, Juliana, is that in looking at her new (hopefully-not-tacky-to-her) dreamcatcher, she will be reminded that her dreams are not lost, but simply being kept for her until she's strong enough to reach out for them again. Her dreams will be right there in her dreamcatcher, serving as fuel to fight hard enough to achieve her precious dreams.

After all of that daydreaming about dreamcatchers, I went out yesterday and bought my own dreamcatcher just like the one for my friend. When I look at it, I am reminded that my dreams are not gone forever. They are simply waiting for the day when I can untangle them from my dreamcatcher and watch them miraculously unfold before my eyes like new flowers blooming. The harder you have to fight for your dreams, the more precious they are when you achieve them!