Victory

I watched a video this evening with clips from a woman's difficult battle with Lyme disease and it brought me to my knees, because it was my story, too. Watching her, I saw myself lying on the floor, unable to move. I saw myself too weak to make it up and down the steps. I remembered the times I had to be carried. I saw myself having convulsions; not knowing if I was going to survive this disease. And the pain; oh, the pain...That video was like watching my own journey, only the tears streaming down my face tonight were tears of victory, because I am winning my battle!

In just shy of one week, I will have been completely off antibiotics for Lyme disease and my multiple other tick-borne illnesses for two whole months and I'm still doing really well! For the first time that I can remember, I've had days with absolutely no pain in my body. The horrible pain that I've endured in my legs for years--one of my most maddening symptoms--is miraculously gone.

My doctor says that if I make it three months without antibiotics and am still doing this well, I will be in remission! I've endured so much and worked so hard for this. I want to scream it to the world, shout it from the rooftops, "REMISSION!!!!!!!" But, alas, I'm not quite there yet.

I've been through so many ups and downs with this disease and it really has been a classic case of one step forward, two steps back. Actually, it's been more like 1/16 of a step forward and 3 miles backwards down a hill, barefoot, in the snow, blindfolded. So it is with a healthy dose of caution that I am getting my hopes up for remission. I won't hug any strangers on the street just yet; however, if I make it my three months, all bets are off! Free hugs for everyone in my town; no, in my state; no, in the WORLD! (Healthy dose of caution, schmelthy dose of caution!)

Last night, I had night sweats for the first time in months--a big symptom of my co-infection babesia. But I'm thinking that it was actually my body finally rejecting the 100 blankets that it has always taken to keep me warm. My body is actually learning how to regulate its temperature again!

Last night, my night sweats were so bad that I had to get up and change my clothes in the middle of the night. The shirt that I was wearing happened to be my lime green homemade "Lyme Disease Survivor" shirt, and it did not survive the night. I couldn't help but laugh at that.

Like my survivor shirt, I've taken quite a beating. My shirt may have a letter that was put on upside-down and backwards, it has an olive oil stain that refuses to come out, an ice cream stain announcing my sugar addiction and it is faded from being washed so many times, but I still wear it proudly.

Hell, maybe I won't actually toss it in the wash and I will keep the smell of sweat on it that I have earned from beating the bejesus out of Lyme disease! Ew, no, nevermind. You can just read about my victory on here. That ratty thing is going in the wash right now...