Seasons

Winter is finally over! The weather is warming up, flowers are blooming, and spring is in the air. There is one huge problem with this: it is very, very difficult to be sick when the weather is so gorgeous. The seasons are changing, and I want to be doing a million different things, but laid up with Lyme disease, my body is frozen, stuck, in its own twisted version of wintertime.

Enduring the long, cruel months of winter--cold, snowy, and dark--is nothing compared to keeping my body fueled through its own variation of a wintry season. It's been cold and dreary for a long time, though I know it won't last forever. I just have to persevere, despite the fact that there's no calendar for this kind of weather. If I want to make it through this hard season of my life, I have to fuel my body with love, kindness, and encouragement.

Because I don't know when to expect the next season of my life, sometimes the days drag on. It is hard to be sick day after day. I remind myself that this is just one season in my life; only one chapter in my story. I know that one day I will look back on these days, I will know the whole story, and it will all make perfect sense. Some days are easy; some days are not. Some days I see beauty everywhere; some days it slips away, unnoticed.

It is impossible to know when I will be able to plant the seeds that have sprouted in my heart. I am excited for the next season of my life--when my body is healed from Lyme disease and I can plant those seeds and watch my dreams grow into beautiful flowers. I am impatient for the miracle of springtime to happen in my body. There is peace in knowing that this season will not last forever.

"And you would accept the seasons of your heart just as you have always accepted that seasons pass over your fields and you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief." Kahlil Gibran