Thursday, November 18, 2010

Mornings in Lymeland

I have a new job. I am now a professional medicine taker. At first, I didn't want the job, but after a while I accepted the position, reminding myself I am only a temp. I was able to admit that maybe, just maybe, my body might appreciate a teeny, tiny bit of help with the whole healing process.

I spend a lot of time sorting out medicine and figuring out when to take what, and which things need to be taken on an empty stomach, and which ones are to be taken with food. It takes a long time to organize all the pills into my mammoth pill holder. I also have to make sure I'm not running low on anything and if so, figure out what needs to be called into the pharmacy, and what needs to be ordered online or bought at the local health food store. Sadly, I'm on salary, so I don't get paid overtime for all of that work.

I start my mornings with my favorite gluten free cereal (Koala Crisp; yum, yum!) and then begin chug-a-lugging down my daily concoctions. First I mix up my fiber drink, specially formulated to help my body absorb the high doses of probiotics that I take. Then I mix up my next drink, glutamine powder. I think it's supposed to make me buff. All 101lbs of me agrees that it's definitely worth the money! After that, I add 15-20 drops each (depending on my counting skills for the day) of three homeopathic remedies, happily into only one glass of water, to help my body detox. This is my favorite drink, because it's a lovely shade of pink. Its gorgeous coloring was responsible for the great I-almost-drank-watercolor-paint debacle. Then I squeeze the juice of one whole lemon into a giant Nalgene bottle and drink from that during the day, also to help with detoxing.

I take my asthma inhaler, then it's time to start swallowing pills. This is the fun part. Sometimes I try to break my own personal record for swallowing the most number of pills at once (FYI, my record is six). However, that doesn't always end well, but hey, I need a little adventure in my life! The number of pills I take varies greatly based on a number of different things (if you must know, money, my digestive tract, my current level of stubbornness, etc.). My morning number usually averages around 12 pills.

Then I'm done until midday and by this time, it's usually time for second breakfast, my favorite meal of the day! On a good day, this means chili! Now most people don't like chili for breakfast, but lucky for me, I get second breakfast and it's perfect for that!

I hope you enjoyed your morning in Lymeland with me.

*the picture above is not up to date on my current number of morning pills; it is now significantly higher

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