Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I Hereby Vow

When most people have a problem, they tend to become immersed in it, looking for a solution or a way out. However, when you have an illness, your life becomes consumed by it. Since my life became turned upside-down by Lyme disease, I have been eaten alive by a new world-a world that now includes an entirely new vocabulary: spirochetes, Herxing, Borrelia burgdorferi, biofilms, etc.

There's no way around it. I can't get away from Lyme disease. I live it and I breathe it. I also devour any information I can get my hands on. It's as though I'm on a quest to find that elusive thing that I want so badly but isn't actually out there; hell, I can even TASTE it: I'm looking for a cure. And I will stop at nothing. I want out of this deal! I don't want Lyme disease. Let me off of this train!

While I wait for my magical elixir, I scour PubMed documents intently. Everyday, I Google "Lyme disease news" to see if today is my lucky day. And. I. Drive. My. Husband. Crazy. Lyme disease this, Lyme disease that. Well, I've got news! I just finished my first non-Lyme related book in a very long time. Absolutely no characters had Lyme disease or tried to tell me how to cure mine. And it felt good.

Like an obnoxious person who knows not of a thing called "personal space," Lyme disease is always there, breathing down my neck. It's not easy to take a break from this incessant need to find a cure. I can't put down my symptoms and come back later. I can't forget about my pain levels. But I hereby vow to balance out my reading repertoire with books that have nothing to do with Lyme disease.


  1. I do this too now. I try to find balance...I will be coming up on 4 yrs of treatment and I STILL can become consumed by the latest news/treatment/remedy. It is understandable...but it is healthy to find a balance. I read mindless and light fiction, inpsirational books, and blogs that have nothing to do with Lyme. Both my husband and I are fighting the battle so we work at not always talking about it. Watching something funny on tv, talking about our grandkids latest antics, ANYTHING to not always be trying to get one step ahead of this beast. I think we all go there.

  2. That is so funny. I'm on the opposite spectrum. I avoid Lyme books like the plague because they make me super depressed about my illness. My husband reads them so he can get caught up to what this disease is all about.