I Hereby Vow

When most people have a problem, they tend to become immersed in it, looking for a solution or a way out. However, when you have an illness, your life becomes consumed by it. Since my life became turned upside-down by Lyme disease, I have been eaten alive by a new world-a world that now includes an entirely new vocabulary: spirochetes, Herxing, Borrelia burgdorferi, biofilms, etc.

There's no way around it. I can't get away from Lyme disease. I live it and I breathe it. I also devour any information I can get my hands on. It's as though I'm on a quest to find that elusive thing that I want so badly but isn't actually out there; hell, I can even TASTE it: I'm looking for a cure. And I will stop at nothing. I want out of this deal! I don't want Lyme disease. Let me off of this train!

While I wait for my magical elixir, I scour PubMed documents intently. Everyday, I Google "Lyme disease news" to see if today is my lucky day. And. I. Drive. My. Husband. Crazy. Lyme disease this, Lyme disease that. Well, I've got news! I just finished my first non-Lyme related book in a very long time. Absolutely no characters had Lyme disease or tried to tell me how to cure mine. And it felt good.

Like an obnoxious person who knows not of a thing called "personal space," Lyme disease is always there, breathing down my neck. It's not easy to take a break from this incessant need to find a cure. I can't put down my symptoms and come back later. I can't forget about my pain levels. But I hereby vow to balance out my reading repertoire with books that have nothing to do with Lyme disease.