Messages to Myself

These past few weeks have been very difficult. They have been peppered with intense "Lyme crashes"--moments where I go from feeling fine to suddenly being rendered entirely unable to move for up to a few hours at a time.

Today, though, for the first time in a long time, I had an entire day with relatively stable and low pain levels--meaning no Lyme crashes and no going up and down on the Lyme carousel! I was not only able to go see my beloved horse this afternoon, but I was also able to ride her! My happy meter went all the way back up to the top! (I like this paragraph full of happy exclamation points!)

Because I've been so sick lately, I've had such a hard time writing. I've started so many posts that have gone nowhere. That's usually a sign that my old friend Bad Attitude is trying to creep in on me. I don't want to let the difficulties of chronic illness blind me to the many joys and blessings in my life, especially when things are tough. Those are the times when you can learn the most beautiful lessons about yourself.

Since I've felt negativity sneaking in, I've been taking the time to reread and remember many of the difficult, but amazing lessons I've learned. I have very little memory of writing the majority of my blog posts because of severe memory loss from my Lyme disease. 

One of the posts that stands out to me the most is one that I wrote when I was at my sickest. My weight had dipped down to 100lbs and I was so weak that I had to stop treatment, even my supplements. Yet, I saw so much strength in myself at my weakest moment. If I had given up then, I would have missed out on so much! I would have missed seeing my dream come true!  Friends, remember: Never, ever give up!  Beautiful things are waiting for you just around the corner!