Friday, February 11, 2011

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall

Last night, I looked in the mirror -really, really looked at my body. My hormones are so out of whack from my battle with Lyme disease that my face and back are broken out. My hair is coated in a thick layer of grease that just doesn't wash out no matter how much I rinse it. I have itchy rashes everywhere. There are dark circles under my eyes. My hips and ribs jut out. My clothes hang off of me. I. AM. SKIN. AND. BONES.

But as I stood there looking in the mirror, I felt such love for my sickly, frail body. I got teary thinking about the things I couldn't see, like how hard my body is working to make me well again. My organs are in overdrive processing all of the medicines I take and flushing out the sudden overload of toxins from the dying Lyme bugs (aka a Herx).

On the outside, my body looks rather pitiful. But still, I am beaming with pride for my hardworking body. There's a war going on inside of my body and it is fighting so hard to give me what I want: to be healthy again. I almost missed the beauty of that, because I was too busy focusing on what Lyme disease has taken from me, instead of what my body has done for me.

Thank you, my beautiful body. I promise to do my best to keep up my healthy diet, take my medicines and supplements, and take care of you as best as I can! I promise to try not to focus on my flaws (hello, acne!) and in the future, I will try not to take for granted all of those wonderful things you do for me that I can't see.


  1. Hi, I have lyme, and have dropped by your blog a few times. This post is really inspiring, thanks. Sometimes when I get really down I start to wonder if I did something to deserve this disease, thinking that I must be bad through and through, but you're right, there is a beautiful and strong force inside us, working hard to be well again and we need to show ourselves as much compassion, gratitude, and acceptance as possible.

  2. This post was one of the hardest for me to write! I almost didn't publish it. I'm so glad you left your comment. :)