Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Take This Disease and Shove It!

I just had a doctor's appointment. Sigh. I'm feeling so frustrated with all of this!

The medicine I'm on is helping me so much. If I could just stay on it for a long time, I would be very happy; maybe I could be well again, even (not really, but I can still say that can't I?). But I can't stay on it. By itself it is not an effective treatment for Lyme. It is a drug that is easy to build a resistance to. It can cause the remaining spirochetes to be badass sons of bitches that don't wanna die. It also could stop working for me at any given moment.

Because my body is so fragile, my doctor can't slam me with antibiotics like the normal treatment for Lyme Disease. Currently, I take azithromycin on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. Now we're going to add in doxycycline.

I'm terrified. I was on azithromycin a few months ago and did so well on it until we added in bactrim, another antibiotic. Then I was so sick, I truly thought I might die. It's taken me a few months to recover and get back on my feet enough for my body to handle the azithromycin for a second go-round.

I feel like I've just gotten back on my feet again, and now I have to go back to that very dark and scary place again? Already?! Life just seems pretty unfair right now.

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