If you keep up with my blog, you may recall that one of my favorite quotes is this one by Emerson: "Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year." On my darkest days, usually when I'm in a great deal of pain, I strive to put Emerson's words of wisdom into practice. I hate to think about how much time I could easily waste away to the pain of Lyme Disease. As much as I want it to, time does not wait for me to feel better! In fact, like some kind of cruel cosmic joke, time seems to be moving at the speed of a freight train since I got sick, and my two children are sprouting quicker than ever. Pain or not, I don't want to miss a thing!
That being said, tomorrow is my big day: I start a new medicine, doxycycline. I will not lie-I'm terrified. I'm not ready for another big herx already. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. The hardest part is knowing that I have to get worse to get better. Until someone finds a better way (and whoever is working on that, PLEASE hurry!), that's just the way treatment of Lyme Disease goes.
My goal now is to cling to my favorite quote, both today as I'm scared of what's to come, and tomorrow as I'm overcome with a major increase in symptoms and slammed with pain. I will readjust my life again until I settle into a new "normal." I will strive to find laughter and joy every day, pain or not. I will find time to laugh with my children every day and I will not miss out on life while I wait for my health to return. I will hang on to the hope that doxycycline will carry me farther than azithromycin has and bring me closer to my goal of beating this awful disease.
Healthy or not, you never know what tomorrow may bring; neither are you promised a tomorrow. What will you do with your today?
I also have chronic lyme and I've been down this path. While my lyme is under control for the most part, I did, as an experienced lymie (I was diagnosed with lyme for nearly 9 years and during that time was treated for 2+ years with IV and oral meds) want to share my experience that I've learned the hard way. When I began antibiotic treatment, my lyme specialist suggested I take a new antibiotic every other day for the first week until I began herxing if I was having a very strong (negative) reaction to the meds. This made life much more bearable! Just thought this little tidbit might help you on your journey... Keep your head up, from someone who's been there, it does get better. I was as sick, if not sicker than you and now, after 5 or so years of treatment (I had 3 co-infections as well) I'm as healthy as I was as a child. In fact, I've returned to college and I'll be be heading to vet school shortly. So keep fighting, you will win this battle.
ReplyDeleteLindsey
Thank you for the kind words, Lindsey. :)
ReplyDelete