Recently, I noticed myself trying to bargain, and with whom I'm not even sure: If I could just try this medicine or that treatment, I know I'd be cured and I wouldn't have to be sick anymore! I realized that without me even being aware of it, I was going through the five stages of grief.
I did a quick run-down of the stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Hmmmm...
Denial-check: "Maybe it's not really Lyme disease."
Anger-check: "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME??!!"
Bargaining-check: "If I could just try this medicine or that treatment, I know I'd be cured!"
Depression-check: "Woe is me! My life is ruined forever!"
Acceptance-check: "I cannot change the fact that I have Lyme disease; I can, however, change myself."
I no longer think my life is over. I do think it will always be different, but whether or not that's a good thing is up to me. My attitude has done a 180. Why, I believe maybe hell hath frozen over and my glass is now half full!
One of my favorite authors, Amy Tan, has Lyme disease, and it took her 10 years to get it figured out.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good reminder for me today..as I too find myself bouncing between my life is over and bargaining stages. I have woven in and out of them and would like to come to rest in acceptance!
ReplyDeleteI have been reading an article on Taming Your Thoughts (CFIDS article) and it is helping me with the "My life is over" stage right now.
Thanks for posting this today!
The question is, what is your glass half full of? Orange juice? Disgusting fiber drink? Gluten-free Beck's Dark?
ReplyDeleteLove you.