Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Random Absurdities

Today, I am going to reveal a random absurdity about myself: Now don't get too excited, because it's actually pretty dull, but, here goes: I have a huge phobia about starting new medicines. I become irrationally convinced that if I take a new medicine, I am going to have an allergic reaction and die. I suppose this is the part where I need to embarrassingly (but happily) mention that I've never had an allergic reaction to any medicine, whatsoever!

So, where does this bizarre phobia come from? Well, I have absolutely no clue since, like I said, I've never had anything even remotely close to a reaction from a medicine. But, it sure does make Lyme disease treatment difficult for me! I am constantly starting new medicines, and every single time I have to begin a new one, that old phobia rears its ugly head and I feel the need to call my friends and say farewell.

So, would you care to take a guess at what's happening today? Yep, I'm starting a new medicine. I know nothing about this medicine other than the fact that it's a very unnattractive brown color that my kids would likely dub "poopy brown." I prefer to keep myself in the dark about this medicine until I see once and for all that I haven't keeled over from that ugly ol' poopy brown pill!

When you have Lyme disease and you start a new medicine, it is supposed to make you feel bad and that's supposed to be a good thing, because it means the medicine is killing off the bad bugs and causing you to Herx. The problem with my phobia about taking a new medicine is that it puts me on hyper alert for every single twinge or twitch that goes on in my body that could signify a sign of an allergic reaction.

And the problem with that is that I've got the hiccups right now, which I'm pretty sure is my body's way of laughing at me. Damnit, hiccups, you're messing up my phobia! How am I supposed to be convinced that I'm dying if I'm hiccuping and laughing every 15 seconds! Bah! The nerve!


  1. I have MCS and have mild reactions to medications and some herbs and supplements. I also am hypersensitive and can only take small amounts compared to others. I am always worried about a mew medication and use muscle testing to help with that...but understand the worry. How do we know what is from herxing and what is from a reaction? When I took abx my doctor had me start with 1/4 pill to see how I would react and to give my body time to adjust to it. She had no choice with that way of doing things due to my MCS. Anyway, maybe that would help your phobia if that is what you have? Take a very small amount and see how it goes? I often think our instincts are right on....but like you said, you have never had a reaction. Well, I think it is great you share this with us, others have the same feelings I am sure and it is always conforting to know we are not alone~
    WIshing you well on the new ugly brown medicine...

  2. I hear you. I have the same problem. I can't imagine how I'll be with my kids. Does that fear come up with them too? I imagine it would. Hang in there! You will survive (insert your new theme song here.) :) Just sing it whenever you pop that first pill!

  3. So is this your "farewell sweet world" post?? ;o)