When I was a little girl, I had my life carefully planned out: I was certain that my life's purpose was to run away and join the circus to be a tightrope walker. Needless to say, that plan didn't work out. Yet now, strangely enough, I've come back to that image of me as a tightrope walker once more. Don't worry, I promise you that I'm not planning to run away and join the circus...
It's just that Lyme disease has left me feeling like a tightrope walker who is just beginning to learn how to master the art of balance.There I am, flailing my arms left and right in a desperate attempt not to go down-- which only causes me to lose my footing! This Herx has really knocked me off balance and now I'm scrambling every which way to avoid falling down--the memory of falling flat on my face fresh in my mind.
Sometimes, the grownup in you needs to be quiet long enough to listen to the child that is still inside of you. I know the stubborn, outspoken little girl in me--the tightrope walker--would have quite a few things to say to the grown up version of the tightrope walker. Don't look down or you'll fall! And don't even think about falling; just think about what you do want to do and DO IT! I know you will get across to the other side!
So, for the little girl in me who always wanted to join the circus, I'm going to stop thinking about falling and start focusing on getting across to the other side of the tightrope. And if I do fall down, I've got an amazing safety net waiting with open arms to catch me--my family and friends.
Alyson, I love this. Have you seen Man on Wire??? If not, I think it's on Netflix. You would LOVE that movie. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1155592/
ReplyDeleteNo, I've never heard of that movie! I'll have to check it out. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteAlyson, this is a lovely piece and a wonderful metaphor. We all have the little child inside us and would benefit from listening to her/him more. One thing you can learn from children is how they live in the very moment, and don't look behind them or forward. They just focus on the now. Stay on the tight rope, don't think about how far you've come and how much farther you have to go. Every moment that you're still on the rope, tell your little girl, "good job, look how you're still on the rope!" Sometimes we do fall off, and in that case, tell your little girl "good try, time to get up and try again."
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Shadow! I'm having a rough day and that really helped! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful, Alyson and a great description of what it is like. I like what Shadow has to say on this too, and needed to hear it. Sometimes we fall off and just have to get back on and sometimes we hang on by a thread or take steps backwards too. Our Lyme web friends are such a great support aren't they! Hang on Alyson. You are doing a good job!
ReplyDelete