Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Saddling Up Again

It's hard for me to believe, but it's that day again--Tuesday--the one day a week when I have to take four antibiotics instead of three. I'm still trying to recover from last Tuesday, which hit me exceptionally hard. I am really struggling to stay positive and not let the fear that's trying to creep in overtake me.

I know I've said this before, but much of the Lyme journey is mental. Recovery is at times excruciating and it's incredibly hard to gear up for something that you know is going to make you sick. With Lyme disease, you have to get worse to get better. What I didn't realize is that you have to get worse over and over again.

I am stubborn and I am strong and I know I can do this! Not knowing how much sicker I am going to get is the scariest part and I have to have strength enough to be able to take care of my two little kids. But it is for those two little munchkins that I draw the courage that I need to make it through this day, and the next, and the next...
at 10:21 AM
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7 comments:

  1. Mer (Lulu's Mommy)July 5, 2011 at 10:54 AM

    Having a super hard time right now.
    Feel like when I feel better, I see all that has passed me by.
    Usually have a "I AM GETTING BETTER" or "I WILL GET BETTER" attitude so dont know how to cope with this.

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  2. alyson1derlandJuly 5, 2011 at 12:43 PM

    I hear you, Mer! We can do this, though!

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  3. ReneeJuly 5, 2011 at 1:08 PM

    Alyson ~ you are on my prayer list today! I understand completly what you are saying...I had the getting worse part and when it even takes over the brain with die off and herxing and weakness and vulnerability, it is so so hard. Hang in there friend. Please know that many of us are sending love and encouragement your way today. You WILL get through this...you WILL get better...you WILL get your life back...a better life because of the strength this trial is giving you. Gentle hugs...Renee

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  4. alyson1derlandJuly 5, 2011 at 1:17 PM

    Thank you so much, Renee! I'm thinking of you and praying for you, too :)

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  5. KathyJuly 5, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    It's definitely mental, Alyson. At four antibotics, I got leary. When I added Flagyl, I got scared. Sometimes I think half the battle is trusting the process. Pick the protocol (like a location on the map), put a pin in it, and drive. Maybe not the best methods, but it's the one that gets me through.

    Hang in there! XOXOX

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  6. In The Lyme FightJuly 5, 2011 at 10:09 PM

    I've been thinking about you today! How are you feeling? You seemed OK from your last email! I hope you feel fine with the increase...or at least no worse! Keep me posted!

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  7. alyson1derlandJuly 5, 2011 at 10:41 PM

    I was just hanging out in the porch furniture display at the grocery store, Lyme Fight! :)

    I'm doing better than I thought I would, though. The next day is sometimes the hardest. Fingers crossed that tomorrow will be smooth sailing, though! :)

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